MENTAL HEALTH: What Is Counseling?

by Alexis Rosendo

Congratulations! You have decided (or are at least vaguely considering) embarking on a counseling journey for the first time. First and foremost, let’s take a moment to recognize the magnitude of this moment! One should not take lightly the decision to pursue mental wellness; it takes courage and humility to take that first step and you should feel very proud of yourself. Good for you! What an amazing decision. The future you will thank you!

Now, on to the reason why we are here. Even though you may be thinking about beginning a counseling relationship with a qualified counselor, you may still be a bit iffy on what counseling entails. If that’s you, give yourself some grace! Movies and media do not accurately portray counseling and, thus, there are many misconceptions. We have all, at some point, had the wrong idea about what counseling is like. If you’re feeling anxious about starting counseling, you are not alone. This anxiety is normal, and some anxiety is even a good thing! However, anxiety that stems from being misinformed about counseling is probably making you more anxious than you would be otherwise, which can prevent you from reaching out for the help that is needed. Furthermore, the misconceptions about counseling can set you up for swift and severe disappointment and even hinder your potential to be successful in counseling. This article serves to clarify a few major points about what counseling is and isn’t and hopefully decrease some unnecessary anxiety.

Why? Because you should be well-informed! Counseling is an investment of time, money, and self, and you should know what you are getting into before you sign the client agreement. Tempering your expectations will also prepare you mentally for what is to come and increase the likelihood that you will be receptive to the various aspects of the therapeutic process. All in all, the more informed you are going into counseling, the greater the chance for you to stay in counseling (instead of dropping out prematurely) and the greater the chance for you to reach your therapeutic goals for meaningful change.

COUNSELING IS NOT…

• laying on couch or staring at inkblots
• getting advice about major life decisions or being told how to solve your problems
• being “preached to” or reprimanded for one’s mistakes
• being told everything that is wrong with you
• venting and unburdening oneself, and then leaving
• having someone “shrink” your brain or ‘mess around’ in your head (changing who/how you are)
• being made to change in a way you don’t want to change
• being told what to do
• being questioned about sensitive or difficult topics you don’t want to discuss
• being made to break down and cry
• being forced into treatment you don’t want

COUNSELING IS…

• talking and sharing about one’s life (events, thoughts, feelings, desires) based on what you choose to share
• offering information to the counselor and answering the counselor’s questions
• exploring one’s own inner world
• gaining clarity and new perspectives
• learning coping skills to properly manage one’s life
• being assessed for clinical diagnoses that can help with counseling treatment
• setting goals
• being held accountable for working towards goals
• pursuing change
• pursuing healing
• learning why you do the things you do
• building new habits and practicing, practicing, practicing until these habits become your new ‘normal’
• psychoeducation – learning about the mental health topics that relate to you
• working on skills and topics that are most relevant to what is going on in your life
• working collaboratively with the counselor to decide how to spend counseling time
• connecting with the counselor through trust and rapport

To normalize what you may be feeling, everyone is a little uncertain in trying something new for the first time. I encourage you to be upfront with your counselor about your concerns, and to ask every single question you can think of to help you feel more comfortable and prepared! The job of the counselor is to serve you, your goals, and your wants, and a good counselor will be happy to explain what you can expect when you first meet with them. Keep in mind that the counselor is there to serve you, and so if ever your counseling experience starts to look like the “Counseling Is Not” list, advocate for yourself — even if that means finding a new counselor!

Again, bravo for taking this courageous first step and thinking about your future mental wellness! You have arrived at this moment for a reason (whatever it may be). Allow that to be your motivation to keep going towards finding a counselor that is a good fit for your needs and getting that initial session scheduled. You can do it!

Onward and upward!