MENTAL HEALTH: 10 Signs That You Are Struggling With Perfectionism 

by Alexis Rosendo

Are you a perfectionist? Or are you just a higher achiever? Or simply someone who likes things done well? How can you know?

The word perfectionist has taken on a bad connotation: describing someone who chooses to be ‘over-the-top’ in tedious criticism towards situations or people, annoyingly refusing to admit their own faults or mistakes, and someone who turns everything into a competition that they have to win. Or someone who needs to learn how to loosen up and not take life (and themselves) so seriously, or else they’ll end up alone because no one wants to be around them. This negative reputation, not to mention the social outcomes, results in many people choosing to deny that they struggle with this very real phenomenon, even though admitting the struggle is the first step to getting the necessary help. Furthermore, the misconception that individuals choose to be perfectionists, which is not the case, leave the perfectionists shouldering a ton of guilt, shame, and poor self image. All-in-all, this can be a touchy topic and one that many are hesitant to come forward about.

Fortunately for us, there is a difference between being high achieving and being a perfectionist, and this distinction is very important. Having perfectionistic treats qualify as mental health symptomology, which is not something a person chooses or has to feel responsible for causing. Like most mental health symptomology, it is very difficult to overcome perfectionistic traits on your own without professional help, and so struggling for years without improvement is understandable and nothing to be embarrassed about. Living with these traits leads to a decreased quality of life unless it is properly resolved therapeutically, because the traits are cyclical, reinforcing themselves in an endless pattern that haunts someone throughout their entire life. Not fun.

Can you relate? Answer these questions for yourself to see if you may struggle with perfectionism symptoms. 

ask yourself:

1. Do you find it hard to celebrate your success?
2. Do you feel like nothing you do is ever good enough for you or others?
3. Do you feel like you have no control over how much you think about achievement and success, and that you can’t turn it off?
4. Does it bother you if you are not always the best, the most, first, or the favorite? Do you compare yourself obsessively to other people?
5. Do you find yourself fixating on tiny faults in yourself and having a hard time letting them go?
6. Do you only attempt something if you know pretty certainly that you will excel in it?
7. Are you overly competitive to where you have a hard time enjoying things unless you are winning at them or performing better than others? Or to where it has affected your relationships?
8. Do you feel like you are always under a lot of pressure to perform, but that you aren’t sure where that pressure is coming from?
9. Are you excessively anxious about your performance outcomes, your work, not being good enough, losing at a competition, letting others or yourself down, or your hard work, not perfectly paying off?
10. Do these symptoms suck the joy out of life, relationships, and/or activities for you? Do they create a bondage or restriction that you can’t seem to escape?

If one or more of these questions resonate with your daily lived experiences, be encouraged that you are not alone. Hope abounds for you! There is the potential to overcome these traits to where they don’t significantly impact your daily life. You deserve help to be freed from the restricting symptoms of perfectionism, and there are therapeutic interventions that can absolutely create change in your life. You can do this, and it is not your fault. When you are ready, reach out to your local mental health organizations to find a counselor that meets your needs and can provide the support and accountability you require.

Onward and upward!