MENTAL HEALTH: Is It Me…Or The Counselor??

by Alexis Rosendo

How to Know When The Counselor Isn’t Providing Quality Service

1. When you are being told what to do or decide (outside of emergency matters regarding safety), instead of being guided.
2. When your counselor is preaching their views at you, not discussing your views with you.
3. When you’re being given multiple resources or therapeutic homeworks that you don’t want nor find useful.
4. When you find yourself feeling as if the sessions aren’t covering what you’d like to discuss, or that you and the counselor aren’t getting to the things that truly matter to you.
5. When you feel pressured instead of comfortable, or judged instead of supported.
6. When the counselor is sharing excessively and/or inappropriately about his or her own life.
7. When sessions leave you feeling more confused or conflicted about yourself, your life and your decisions.
8. When you aren’t sure how you have been helped or if you are making any progress.
9. When you feel that it’s increasingly harder to trust the expertise of the counselor on matters of mental health and wellness.
10. When you don’t feel respected or even liked as an individual and the expert on your own life.

If you’re thinking that the counselor isn’t providing good service, they probably aren’t.

It’s okay to say that the counseling isn’t working, or that the counselor’s approach isn’t a good fit for you, or that you and the counselor simply aren’t connecting. IT’S OKAY. Every counselor isn’t for everyone, nor should they try to be. Remember that it’s the counselor’s job to try to meet you where you are (not you contorting to fit them) and if the work to build rapport doesn’t work, it doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault.

If you were waiting on a sign, here it is! Respectfully terminate with your counselor and begin the search for one that meets your need, fits your personality, and makes you excited to work towards the healthier life you deserve. It can be hard or awkward to make this shift, but you (and your time, money, and future) are worth it.

Onward and upward!